Joomla Sport Template

Frequently Asked Questions (Want to comment? Click here to post or enter as a forum discussion)

Q #1:   I have been divorced for 9 years.  I am ready to start dating.  As a Christian woman where should I look for eligible men?

A:        You may take exception with the first answer that comes to mind:  “Don’t look!”  That’s fair.  It is abrupt. And although sound bite worthy, it can easily be interpreted as insensitivity to the needs and concerns of the unmarried.   We are not.  All human beings are created for relationship and intimacy.  This need has given rise to all kinds relationships and the efforts of some to legitimate those relationships socially and legally.  Still, marriage remains the only God ordained relationship to cultivate intimacy and sexual fulfillment and this between men and women.  

For this reason and despite proponents of relationship alternatives to marriage, many continue to believe marriage is the best and most viable option.  We have good reason for saying to Christian women, “Don’t look!”  Yet, if it must be that you look for eligible men, we suggest family and friends over clubs, 'singles’ groups (Christian and otherwise) and the Internet. Family and friends are the best resource to identify eligible men and opportunities to develop relationships that may lead to marriage.  Family may include, but is not limited to biological relationships.  Why family and friends?

Family and friends are contiguous.   They are connected to you.  They also provide boundaries for you, buffering others access to you.  They are a built in safety net.  Especially today, unmarried women need safety.   Whether or not an eligible is introduced by or brought into the company of family and friends, it is their interaction with him that will offer you valuable information about who he really is.  For while he may succeed in fooling some, he will not succeed in fooling all!  Things that are true of him will inevitably manifest—and this includes the good and the bad.  It is precisely the various backgrounds, experiences and maturity (or lack thereof) of family and friends that expose the eligible man.

Now it may seem to some that we are over thinking this.  However, we are only talking about decisions that will profoundly impact the rest of your life.  And as we suspect the case with many that are unmarried, the real desire is for intimacy and sex.  For the Christian, this necessarily means marriage!    Rate this answer:   

Q #2: Where does the Bible Use the Word "Singles"?

A:  The word, "Single" means a separate person or thing.  Separate means existing apart from or detached from others--secluded or isolated.  To be separate means to be without relationship to others.  Unmarried people are often referred to as, "single" for which entire ministries are based.  But unmarried people scripturally do not fit the definition of single! They are not separate.  Biblically, they cannot and do not exist apart from others.  And therefore, they are not without relationship! 

Perhaps unmarried people are without the relationship they desire--one with husband or wife, but they are certainly not without relationship! From a Christian Perspective: "The Body of Christ"-- Unmarried people are infants, children, teens, young adults, adults and older adults. Unmarried people are sons, daughters, older and younger siblings, aunts and uncles, and cousins. The Body of Christ rperesents God's family.  And in family all of these reationships are present both naturally and spiritually.  It may be hard to fathom this, let alone experience family in church.  We have made the church something it was never intended to be: a business enterprise--a revenue machine!  No, we are a family first and work in the family business second.

       But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His
       name: (John 1: 12)

       But Jesus answered them, My Father has worked [even] until now, [He has never ceased working; He is still
       working] and I,too, must be at [divine] work. (John 5: 17)

Jesus was a Son first, and worked in the His Father's business second!   We are sons andaghters first!  So before we can even talk about "dating" and how this (worldly) concept applies to the Christian Life, we must get back into God's Divine Order for relationships. For when we are properly relating, it will naturally lend itself to opportunities for mature adult male and female relationships that lead to marriage!  Rate this answer: